quarta-feira, 21 de setembro de 2011

unappreciated

It's been several years since I've felt like this. I feel unappreciated, overwhalmed, scared, angry, sad... all the awful feelings we one time or another feel when we're about to brake up with a boyfriend or girlfriend. It's that feeling in the pitt of your stomach like you've been punched. In the midst of such feelings you feel broken, unmotivated, powerless... Like your life has no meaning. Tears rush to your eyes when you least expect them. You walk around feeling and acting like a zombie. You can't think about anything else but the cause of your anxiety. It has absolutely taken over your daily life. Like nothing before ever happened and like nothing ahead will ever happen. Uncertainty rules you, chews you up and spits you out. You hardly ever sleep and when you do nightmares take over. When you wake you feel like something a sick cat coughed up. Nothing makes you smile anymore and with the passing hours you turn into this sarcastic evil bitch that snaps at everyone and everything. You can't stand to be around people and you can't stand to be alone either. All this I don't wish unto anyone. Not even people who hae done me wrong. And now imagine feeling this way about a job...

4 comentários:

Eddy disse...

You have all the reasons in the world to fight for, yes it’s a bad moment in economy all over the world, and affects everyone, but this is also our moment. We are better than this, we can’t let ourselves beat down by politics, or uncertainty, we have to be creative, original, smart, strong and find the right cause; the one thing that drives us towards greatness, the one thing worth fighting, living and dying for. Hang on to that, visualize all opportunities, think out of your little box, choose the best path you can take in order to achieve your goals. Someone once told me when I was younger that nothing in the adult life is easy, I only came to realize this a few years ago :p.
E, you are above this, stand tall, I know you can :P

Edna disse...

I always rise above all the crap life deals me, that's for sure. But right now I am just so sick and tired of being taken for granted and always being put down and made fun of. It is unerving and unacceptable. It is really shitty knowing that you have better qualifications and other people always get chosen over you because their someone's niece, nephew, sister, brother, or whatever. It's all bullshit and I'm tired of taking it. To HELL with all of them!

Eddy disse...

The way I see it, you have two choices, find your long lost brother, sister, aunt, cousin and ask for help or if that is not possible.. well… leave, find another place to work that better suits your needs, and people that see reason, because from my experience, one good person can’t fight an entire army of idiots… though he/she might put up a hell of a fight :) .

Edna disse...

That is sooooo true! I do feel like the only reasonable person fighting against a whole army of idiots.