FREE

I wish I could fly

way up high to the sky

grab a shinning star

put it in a glass jar

bring it down with me

for the world to see

it's fading beauty

but then I'd set it free

so it woun't turn into me

a zombified shadow

so small and hollow

of the person I used to be

the one that smiled

like a small child

the one who had dreams

and a life of schemes

the opposite of this shell

empty, hollow and unwell.

There's no where else to hide

I am dead inside.

Maybe I'll revive

and learn to survive

if purpose is found

to keep me bound

to this cruel existence.

At a distance

I can see you there

happy and fair

smiling and waving

walking but not moving

a glimpse of hope

that helps me cope

with this misery

being set free

by the one I dream of,

and by love!

Some more good advice...

Good Advice...

Laugh as much as you breathe & Love as long as you live...

Everything is Illuminated... still smiling!

I was watching the movie "Everything is Illuminated" today for like the nth time and only today it hit me... the thing Alex writes to Jonathan telling him how everything is illuminated by our past and that is what connects them... that small piece of wisdom touched me. I guess you might say I was illuminated by it. Something just lit up inside me and I knew. I don't quite know what it is exactly that I know... but I know. I know what he meant about the past illuminating our present and our future and how it connects us all. What I did, say, felt and experienced in my past made me who I am today thus affecting everyone who I come in contact with. But what about how people perceive each other? Does that come into the equation? I would have to say that it does... the way people see me affects their interaction with me. So I guess that's why sometimes I act a bit like a mumbling idiot so that the people that I should stear clear of leave me alone and not include me in their daily bashing habits. You see... I live in a small town where everyone likes to talk smack about everyone. This saddens me. Why should people waist precious time talking bullshit about each other? Shouldn't they focus on what really matters? Like their fucking jobs? Why would they criticize everyone else's going ons when they themselves are doing a shitty job? I cant understand this... Why are people so mean? Why can't they just live and let live? I guess some people like to feel like they're the center of attention. Some people need all the drama they are used to see on TV during their soap operas. This town is sooooooooo frustrating! The people here are mean and devious and they only talk to you if they want or need something from you. The mountains are nice and the fresh air is good but the weather sucks and I miss the sea. I miss the sea so much! Figures the world crisis would fuck up my life. LOL! At least my sense of humour is intact! You can take away everything from me... except my sense of humour and of course my soul. I will always prevail! So screw you Universe! Screw you destiny! I'm still smiling!