Let It Rain

Let the rain fall down on me

let it drown my misery

let it take away the pain

let it rain, let it rain

let the rain wash my sorrow

let it wash away tomorrow

let it take away yesterday

let it fall down here today!

let the rain fall down on me

let it be whatever it wants to be

let it take away the past

hope it washes away so fast

let it rain again and again

let it rain down on my friend

let it take away the whole world

let it fall on me so cold!

let it rain...

Sometimes

Sometimes

I can see myself in your eyes.

Sometimes

I could almost believe your lies.

Sometimes

You don't hear my cries!

But sometimes you walk out the door.

Leaving me crying on the floor

Like so many times before.

Sometimes

you show me off as your prize.

Sometimes

you say long goodbyes.

Sometimes

Something in me dies!

the devics - stretch out your arms

My new friend "introduced" me to this song which is delightfully melancholic. I decided to share it... Enjoy!

Who will stop the rain...?

It's raining... The rain brings memories from the past I believed I silenced... Today they scream out so that I might recognize and abide... so that I might drown in their relentless effort to be heard. I don't want to... This confortable numbness I wallow in its perfection... the beast in me asleep... I don't want to wake him. The wars once fought within are over. I have given in to resignation. But I fing myself longing to feel again... the confortable numbness I speak of has a price... absence of feelings. I must feed this lust for feeling one way or the other... love... or pleasure... or sorrow... or pain... A person must feel something! I want to feel alive again! I am still waiting for someone to breathe life into me one last time...

The rain brings memories... and washes them away the same as it brought them... But if this rain never ceases... will the memories subside as well? I want the rain to stop and take away all that it brought... If it does not stop... it'll drown me. I close my eyes and I see myself being covered in a pool formed by the rain... and I fall deeper and deeper... and I feel cold... freezing cold. And I reach up waiting to be pulled out by some heavenly hand... but that hand never comes to pull me out. And so I keep falling... deeper and deeper into someone else's oblivion.

I open my eyes and I am laying peacefully in bed... still waiting for the rain to stop. Who will stop the rain?

close your eyes

I am tired of feeling like this... out of place. I've been so many diferent people in my life that I don't know who to be now... who should I be? who do you want me to be? I've tried so hard to adapt and I've always been damned for it (if not, that's how I felt anyway). There is no god watching ove me... not now, nor ever! I want to rebel against the universe but I don't know how. I want to stop feeling... to quiet down these psycho voices in my head... to forget everything... I want to fall... I want it all to just stop! But nobody can stop fate... I wonder what fate has in store for me... loneliness, sadness, misery, weirdness... that is what I see ahead now that you're gone.

Sometimes I feel like we're being watched on TV by some asshole lazy god... and he's laughing his ass off... and it really pisses me off. How can he let such misery and fucked up things be happening all around us? Children dying... people dying... disease, starvation, injustice... evil people taking advantage of all of this misery... how can anyone believe in god? They tell me I must have faith... how can I keep faith in these conditions? When I know that no one gives a shit about the world and the people in it... I can't have faith... not in gods... not in people... not in myself.

And then you came... walking beautiful and sure... a tornado sweeping through my life... You swept most of all my ghosts away... but you left behind yours... and he burns my thoughts with a fire I cannot put out... and it burns deep inside... I'm at a loss for words... I keep writting the same thing over and over and over... your name... burnt on my flesh... your eyes... I feel them watching me... piercing my soul like knives. I am broken in two... From your eyes sheds a dawn I'll never know. We're two strangers turning into dust, now that the fire is being put out...

Remember the day we first met. Close your eyes and see me as I was then...

haunted

I close my eyes and there you are... haunting my thoughts... A naked ghost that whispers to me things I dare not repeat. I am standing still while life fast-forwards around me... a simphony of distorted sounds plying louder and louder in my head, taunting me... Unrequited feelings... I am waiting quietly for a dream to seep into my life... If I could stop time or put these feelings behind me... I wonder... could I get you off my mind... this time? It is a merry go round... I am back where I started... with you haunting my thoughts...

mysterious and deadly

And the black widow walked in dead silence and all of the people turned to see her. They were in awe, bewitched by her mysterious ways. Under her spell they each fell in her arms... One by one... Inocent lambs to the slaughter...

Her devious sexuality - a means to an end... the end being the need to kill... the need to feed off men's deepest desires... Man unaware of his condition as prey falls in her carefully woven web of lies and death.

As she leaves that place... the body count is imense and grotesque. She wipes the blood off her face and smiles... and walks away the same as she walked in: mysterious and deadly...

The Fire...

I can't fall asleep nor dream

and everything tastes like ash.

Your love is my burning desire

My love is my funeral pyre.

The marching band playing

our distorted sad song,

unable to quiet the dark voices

that scream endlessly in my head

and question all of my choices

and what lies ahead.

You're unaware that death walks by

and takes me by my cold hand

to guide me towards oblivion.

I listened to your opinion

but now my restless soul

leaves it's broken body

searching for some kind of peace

but all that's left are ashes

from the fire I lit...

Death Cab For Cutie

Death Cab For Cutie is one of my favorite bands and I want to share some of their songs that I love and that express perfectly what I am feeling...

SHUT UP AND LISTEN...

reality for what it is... (distorted)

I cut through the curtain of night

walking towards silence

closing my eyes to the light

Expecting death's embrance.

Now, that I'm all alone

I feel the emptiness inside

all that I had is gone

and there's nothing left to hide...

Old wounds are opened in strife

I am tired and can't explain

I am weary of this life

I have nothing to gain.

This cold winter

Stirs up old feelings
And a sharp splinter

You stuck in my eye
keps me from seeing
reality for what it is...

Porto - letting go is hard to do...

Back home in my sad quilted cage I suddenly realized that letting go is hard to do... but sometimes, necessary. Feelings go awry and you find yourself analyzing every corner of your mind for some kind of hope to hold on to... but there isn't any...

Goodbye... Goodbyes are hard... especially when hellos were just said a minute ago (or so it seems). On the train back my mind was empty... I could not think about a single thing... it gave me some peace... it was a kind of sordid pleasure, a mellancoly invading my body and oozing out of every pore of my skin... So now it's time for me to say goodbye...

Goodbye...

"...talking about a revolution"

Olaré, novamente...

Depois de ter ouvido mais atentamente os comentários (de alguém que ia a passar no corredor da instituição onde dou formação) apercebi-me que afinal, não eram todas as turmas do 12º ano que seriam "recambiadas" para o 11º e sim (apenas?) 6 alunas/os. A revolução que "registei" foi uma espécia de... "revolução interesseira por arrastamento"... Resta-me apenas dizer que estou completamente desiludida com os jovens de hoje (e era a minha geração apelidade de rasca... e a de agora? será o quê? )... onde já se viu... uma "revolução" com segundas intenções, isto é, faltar às aulas... se bem que... o que se aprende hoje em dia não será tão interessante quanto a novela Morangos com Açucar ou Rebelde Way...

E tenho dito...

Estudantes do Secundário (12º???) revoltados em Arcos de Valdevez

Três dias por semana dou formação numa instituição (Santa Casa da Misericórdia) da vila onde cresci (Arcos de Valdevez). Quando aqui estou, costumo tomar o meu cafezinho "matinal" num café mesmo em frente ao liceu que frequentei (gosto de reminiscências). Qual não é o meu espanto quando hoje (18 de Novembro de 2008 às 9:55) me deparo com uma greve do corpo estudantil da escola secundária... Sempre pronta para a "acção", peguei na minha máquina fotográfica e registei os acontecimentos (não tendo conhecimento dos motivos que levaram a esta greve). Entre gritos de protesto e uivos de fúria, fui passando despercebida... tirei as fotos que queria e dirigi-me ao café. No café, liguei o meu portátil e passei as fotos (que podem ver acima) para poder "mostrá-las ao mundo"... Pedi o meu café, olhei para o lado... e perguntei ao rapaz que se encontrava sentado na mesa ao lado a jogar o que se passava... e ele explicou-me de forma sintética. Aparentemente, os alunos do 12º ano terão de "voltar" ao 11º ano devido a um erro qualquer (fatal, a meu ver) nas respectivas matrículas... Agora eu pergunto-me... que raio de erro poderá ter sido esse que faz com que turmas inteiras do 12º ano tenham de adiar os seus projectos para o futuro e voltar ao 11º ano... Esses pobres alunos não deveriam ser penalizados por um erro que foi, obviamente, cometido pelos serviços administrativos...

Esta é a minha opinião (sem ter ouvido o lado da administração; peço desculpa se estou equivocada quanto ao conteúdo da greve mas... receio que não me será facultada uma "entrevista"... portanto, escrevo sobre o que sei... e neste momento, o que descrevi acima é o que "sei").

Kaki King

night falls

death in her eyes...

Fotografia - Aveiro (part 2)

"stairway to heaven"

"bus stop"

"postal shadows"

"water works"

"men at work"

"water works - part 2"

Fotografia - Aveiro

"fake olympus"


"where have all the children gone?"



"lonely tower"



"light at the end of the tunnel"



"Life's waiting room"



"happy dog relaxing on a sunday morning"

"griffen"

Fotografia - Minho

"the mist"


"church behind wires"



"the mist - part 2"



"adulterated nature"



"peaceful village"



"house on the hill"

too late

It was you

beautiful and filled with a light

that blinded me...

Two strangers in the night

completely free

and still falling

breathless, broken

and not accepting

what was spoken...

I can feel myself

falling prey...

I can feel myself

fading away...

Surrounding me

are my tears

Drowning me

in my fears...

I'm still falling

inside I'm bound

endlessly crawling

on the cold ground.

I silently scream

to fight against fate

But it's all a dream

and it's too late...

a thousand deaths

Life is frightening.

love... so painful.

death... enlightening.

my heart... careful.

clarity at last!

time wasted

reliving the past

purity alienated...

you live silently

in my mind

killing me slowly

this time...

my cold skin

freezes my tears

I want to give in,

release my fears.

but the price of the fall

is a broken heart

or nothing at all...

And so we must part.

One last kiss,

a heavy breath.

an eternity of bliss

or a thousand deaths...

Risen

At night I lay awake in bed
Staring at the white ceiling
Satisfying sloth instead
of opening up to feelings

Unspoken words eco in my head
A wonderful lover that doesn't care
despite all the tears that I shead
and a heart that was open and bare

For him to plunder and shatter
and silently wishing I was dead
I think about what doesn't matter
I think of lies that lie ahead

Flickering lights surround me
My soul escapes this weary prison
from these hot ashes I can see
That my heart has once more risen...

For Him...

I wake up silently on sheets of desire

And I open my knees to a burning fire

His words meander in my restless mind
Like light reflected on broken glass

They stumble on the ties that bind

and on dark shadows from the past

Sounds of joy and sounds of sorrow

pass by me like a restless wind

they tell tales of a good tomorrow

filled with laughter and friends

And so we laugh untill we cry

and smile 'till smiles are spent

We live 'till we cease to breathe

And we love untill we can't

My heart surrenders in sin to him

For this is a war it can't ever win.

Freakshow...

"baby, you're a freakshow just like me..."

Orb of Light

Acima, no canto direito, podem ver um orbzito de luz. ;)

The Way To The End of The World

"loneliness"



"road to hell"



"by the river"



"ruins"

Ponte Romana

ponte sobre o rio Vez

(Arcos de Valdevez)

Autumn in Arcos de Valdevez

"máquina tradicional de lavar roupa"
S.Jorge - Arcos de Valdevez



"imprópria para consumo"
S.Jorge - Arcos de Valdevez