What I Want

I want to sleep for a thousand years
and forget the darkness inside me
I want to dive in my lonely tears
and pretend I know who to be.

I want to run and never look back
fall on the floor scraping my knees
and listen to my heart slowly crack
as the tears down my cheeks freeze

I want to erase your name from my mind
bury it deep in the back of my head
I want to just kick back and unwind
without reliving all that you said

And I want you to know before I forget
that you did mean something to me
and I can't make up for my mistake yet
I still haven't found the golden key

Tomorrow I will wonder the cost
of letting you walk out my rusty door
tomorrow I'll know what I actually lost
it's nothing I've ever felt before

But you are gone now and I am dead
you never knew how to love me alive
and if you don't see how much I've bled
you'll never ever learn how to survive