Painkillers to numb the pain
sleeping pills to knock me out
pills to keep anxiety away
valium to calm me down
I am a zombie jacked up on meds
I close my eyes and numbness sets in
I wonder what goes through their heads
and on my face a sickly grin
rips through my altered face
junkie eyes staring back at you
weird senseless words spoken
and you still haven't a clue
as to why I am so broken...
The boy with the green eyes
is the boy I dream of
he haunts me and lives in my sighs
as the only perfect love.
But he has no idea who I am
the girl I was is long gone
I am now a woman and he a man
but none of us have won...
I can't deal with hardship
so I hide behind my pills
my quivering upper lip
while time stills
and guilt possesses me
for being such a coward
I only wish you could see
that I tried real hard
but couldn't walk
I am silence
I can't talk
I can't stand my own presence
so I stand in shadows
trying to push through
and no one knows
not even you
how much pain
lives within me
driving me insane
as I long to be free
but I am a pool of meds
trying to get by
watching how darnkess spreads
and waving goodbye...
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