Zombified

Day in and day out. Everything is the same. You're routine is perfectly timed. Sometimes you have a lucid moment and you realize you've become some sort of robot stumbling through life. You don't enjoy the simple things you once loved and you don't feel any kind of joy or bliss. You're always focused on the next step of your routine. It's sort of living-death... You're a zombie. A robot. A zombie-robot or a robot-zombie. Whatever floats your boat. You want to break free from the rut you got stuck in but you can't. It slowly seeped into to you right down to your bones. It's like a cancer... Chemotherapy won't get rid of it. And you keep hoping for a jolt of lightning to restart or reboot your system. And maybe once that painful jolt of energy surges through you, you can set yourself free and restart get back to your life and hopefully know enough not to make the same mistakes that led you to fall into the rut that completely zombifies you and corrupted your system. Even if you are stuck in a rut and your eyes are glazed over one can still catch a glimpse of humanity, one can still see a shimmer or fragment of soul. I would urge people to help these zombified individuals to snap out of it. I would ask these enlightened people to become the jolts of lightning that might set the zombie-robots or robot-zombies free. Because if you don't you'll be taking a step closer to becoming zombie-robots or robot-zombies yourself. And you certainly don't want that to happen. Do you?
Am I zombified? Not fully... But my system is crashing and I am slowly turning into a zombie even though I am aware that I have a perfectly timed routine and that I don't stop to enjoy my surroundings. Is it a choice or something that just happened? I am not entirely sure. I can't really remember how it started. It's basically a coping mechanism. It's a safe guard from any extra pain I might feel by putting myself out there. It's a fucked up way to refrain from... well... Fucking up!  And maybe it's not something that happens to everyone. Maybe it's just my problem. Maybe it only happens to me. So I need to look up, open my arms and wait for that perfect jolt of lightning to reset me back to my normal self which isn't actually very normal. Maybe it'll happen tomorrow or next week. Maybe it will never happen. I can only just wait...