we are not gods

I woke up feeling on top of the world. I was feeling like everything was going my way and that the world was my oyster. I had told him last night what it felt like when I thought I would never actually get to hang out with him and laugh with him. It was scary to think that it might not happen and it was a surprise for me to find out how sad I would be if I had never met him in the first place. And it's so ironic and a sort of slap on the face after I tried so hard not to let myself get involved with anyone or even think of anyone. Now... Well... I just find myself thinking of him all the time. I can't even sleep! He's slowly driving me insane and getting under my skin. Is it a good thing? Only time will tell... But it sure does feel good.

As I was saying, I woke up feeling pretty awesome. I got in my car and made my way to work. It's a long and time consuming drive but so far it always was a pretty standard drive. Except for today... There was some sort of oil spill on the road and I lost control of my car. I managed to not drive down the bloody mountain but it was enough to scare the crap out of me. It was only for a second... But during that one second all the possibilities flashed before me and I saw so much of what I would miss... And I realized that everything can be lost in just one second. We are mortal, not gods. That split second made me aware of so much and it scared me. The feeling I woke up with was muffled by fear. I was shaking... My whole body was trembling. But I didn't even stop the car. I just kept on going because... Well... Because if I actually stopped the car I would have cried uncontrollably and I didn't have time for that. And now I'm about to clock in still thinking of him but not feeling as cocky as I did this morning.