No Regrets At All

When the rain started falling
I was sitting quietly in my chair
nursing an illness that took hold
and wouldn't let go easily
I heard the sound of rain
and I closed my tired eyes
so that I could listen to it's sweet sound
drip, drip, drip on my window
washing away all that is old
bringing back my voice again
drowning out all of my weary sighs
drip, drop on the hard dry ground
it's sound a distant calling
why do I love the rain so much?
If I weren't this ill I'd run out
and dance in it until I was soaked
with my huge voice I would shout
I would shut my eyes and face up at the dark sky
so that I might feel it running down my face
filled with grace and without a hint of lie
Then I would silently walk back inside
and peel off my wet clothes
toss them aside
crawl into bed and dream all the dreams
that I have never dreamed before
But what I dream of most these days
is everything no one else looks for
it's what everyone runs from
no one wants any and I would kill for some
But I will not dare speak it
I will never say it out loud
I will just stand still in a crowd
hoping to be seen, to be felt
longing for the rain to fall once more
like it did today and like it did before
like it will always fall when I least expect it
drip, drip on my window
drip, drop on the hard dry ground
like tears running down my face
the rain masks the tears running down my face
and that being the case
some might wonder why, some might not care
why I sit quietly in my chair
this night nursing myself back to health
listening to the wind outside
whisper their names
like a lover once whispered in my ear:
"Let go of your fear"
And so let go I did and I loved
then I didn't anymore. I just felt pain
Love had left me as did the passionate whispers
They were gone never to come back again
So today I sit in this chair
Listening to the rain outside fall
Thinking of different times, a different life
but not regretting anything at all.