Xmas Eve...

So... it's Xmas Eve... it's 10:46 p.m. and we're all relaxing in our living-room. My son is wicked hyper jumping aroun asking to open xmas presents... we're watching midnight mass... I remembered a concert I went to in Oporto at the "casa da música". I went to see th king's choir. It was so beautiful it brought tears to my eyes. My father says the choir on TV is much better but as I'm listening to the king's choir on youtube... the choir on tv just pales by comparison even though the pope is present. I think they should have gone with the king's choir. My sister just asked me where the music was coming from I told it was me playing the king's choir on youtube but she still doesn't "get it". I think she'llnever understand... I think no one will never understand. And now (my mom is already in bed) we're debating religion... my dad is a very devout catholic and I am not. I believe in God but I don't believe in catholiscm. I think it's an abomination! It goes against all scriptures! Read the bible! I think people are just numb and tired from all the bullshit they go through life... so much so that they're not even in tune to what's going on in the world. They don't have a clue to what's going on... why? because the Vatican only tells you what you want to hear... what makes you feel better. That's what catholicsm is all about. As long as you "pay" for your sin, you're garanteed a place in heaven. And you know what? If that's the way it's going to be I'd rather go to hell than be in heaven with such people. I think I could neve STAND it! I can't even stand being here on earth with such people... imagine me... waling around in heave... surrounded by fucking hypocrits and popes and priests... child-molesters and adulterers... and... I don't even want to go there... you know why? because every year I go there and it never leads me anywhere... it just gets me a little (a shit load of more) pissed off at catholics. They fucking go to church, they pray and chant, and they come out and talk about what someone was wearing and every move they made and what they said when they left church and what car they were driving... all that fucking bullshit that doesn't matter... all the bullshit that doesn't affect the world... all the bullshit that would be best directed to subjects that DO matter! To people that DO matter... I just don't have the energy anymore... I wore everyone else (and myself) out. At this point... everyone has gone to bed. It's just me and my son... he's watching cartoons... I'm writing you guys. Why? I have no idea... it's Xmas eve... but I just paused a minute trying to "think" of the meaning of this day... and you know what? I haven't found one... It used to mean something years ago... now it just means you have to spend a shitload of money to keep everyone happy. Presents are the meaning of Xmas... more crudely, SPENDING MONEY is the meaning of Xmas... when did it become all about the mullah? When will it go back to spending time with family, sharing a meal, celebrating the birth of Jesus (s many of you well know wasnt on december)? Sometimes I feel like no one else in the world understands what I feel or think... and that makes me feel lonely and sad. I wish there were other people ut there that could understand what I am talking about.
I usually post an image with... I just paused a long while because... well... to tell th truth... it's xmas.