I'm sorry

I am sorry it took me years to awake
and realize what I lost...
I am sorry I couldn't see before
I was blinded by the drugs
and all the parties
I am sorry I mistreated you
You were the only one who would
stay for the aftermath
and held my hair when I got sick
You would spend your nights awake
while I slept off my drunkeness
You stuck by me through the bad
I am sorry you had to nurse me
and I could never give you the good.
I am sorry I never said "thank you"
and I am sorry I never said "I love you"
All that I was died when you left
but I was too proud to call you up.
I was too afraid you wouldn't answer.
I was too scared you might come back
and I'd screw up all over again.
I never wanted you to carry my baggage
for it is mine alone to carry.
I never wanted to hurt you
I just wanted to hurt myself.
And so I did.
I'm sorry I never told you
how I felt.
I am sorry you'll never know.
I'm sorry I loved you
and let you go...
But when you love someone
you set them free.
And so I did.
Now you're happy.
And I'm glad I got out of the way
I'm glad I never gave you reasons to stay
But I feel sorry for myself
for I will never know love
like the love you gave me.
And now I can see...
it's far too late
but I just had to write it.
I had to let go...
so that I can continue to grow.
And maybe someday
I'll be able to say
"I love you too"...