If Only

If only I knew what I know now
life would have been much easier
I wouldn't break my back with a bow
trying to get things as they were

instead of trying to please myself
chasing my wildhearted dreams
so now I've become someone else
chasing what is never as it seems.

If only I could just refuse
this burden set upon me.
All the time I am confused
by what it means to be free.

I always manage to run and to escape
the person everyone thinks I should be.
I have no more thoughts for you to rape
there's nothing more you can do to me.

If only words were sharp swords
I would be the mightiest of warriors
with concepts you cannot afford
or understand and analyze further.

In the end I am the only winner
and you are nothing but irrelevant
you might see me as hateful sinner
I don't care, your opinion has been spent.

If only I were like everyone else
I would be highly recommended
But I would much rather kill myself
than be one of the accepted...

So I just smile and dream of better days
when no one else will fall prey to your scam
and there will be many causes to praise
that I cannot be other than who I am.

If only life were an open road
and I was upon it free to travel
I would no longer feel that I am owed
and happiness would finally unravel.

But I am a prisoner of circumstance
of whom the fates conspire against
and my heart weighs in the balance
reliving all that it once sensed...