No rhyme or reason

I'm not asleep but I'm not awake
I'm not real but I'm not fake
I can't move but I'm not still
this glass half empty I want to fill
It's not me and it's not you
it's not a lie and it's not true
I'm not alive but I'm not dead
can't take back what's been said
can't pretend to be myself
and I can't be someone else.
I am tough but also vulnerable
my thoughts are considerable
but my words are scarce
I'm a coward but also fierce
I'm not blind but I can't see
I'm not a prisoner but I'm not free
I'm not deaf but I can't hear
it isn't courage but it's not fear
I'm not sensitive but I feel
with this cracked heart of steel
hollow and broken by the world
I'm not empty but I have no soul
It's not the dark nor the light
and day turns into night
I watch my life passing me by
It's not silence nor a cry
There's no rhyme or reason
only the passing of each season.
It's none of the things I thought of
it's only a forgotten love...