Life passing by

I am 33 years old and lost many of my beliefs, hopes and dreams. If you put your ear to my chest you might possibly hear the ocean! I am an empty shell of the person I used to be. I guess maybe my fairytale was never meant to be. I was never the princess nor the girl for whom the prince falls. I am just an extra in a movie... the one in the crowd that no one notices. The girl without a voice.

I always longed for a simple life with someone to hold my hand through life. Waking up in the country and walking barefoot on the wet grass having a cup of coffee... closing my eyes and feeling his touch while we watch the sun rise behind the mountains. I dream of sitting on my porch watching time passing by... smilling and waving always with a warm cheek touched by his kiss.

But I guess the hole inside me will never be filled even though I long for happiness... but the things we want the most are always the things we never get to have. Life is cruel that way. But even though I'm drowning in blue I still have a glimmer of hope that just maybe... but then I close my eyes and all I see is nothingness... oblivion. I am still the unknown, unwanted, voiceless girl in a sea of people trying desperately to be seen...

Time passes by, people move, they fall in and out of love, life goes on, trees grow... everything speeding, moving faster and faster... I am standing still watching all these things happen. I long to be part of them... I long to live at the same speed, in the same frequency. But I am not able. I stand still and just watch as life passes me by.