Death is not the end... or is it?

I've been thinking a lot about death lately. Don't really know why. I've been thinking a lot about people I loved and have passed away. Friends... Family... Gone. Many religious beliefs tell us that death is not the end... that we come back as someone else, or that we move on to some awesome afterlife. I'd like to believe in something... but the truth is I am so tired and beaten by life that I don't believe in anything anymore.

Some years ago I had a recurring dream... I was a woman with long black hair dressed in a blue dress that flowed in the wind. I was by a large lake surrounded by mountains and I was playing with my feet in the water. I was happy and felt warm and safe. But suddenly a feeling of dread ... and then I'd wake up in a sweat. This dream haunted me for a few years... 3 years ago I moved back home and the dream never came again. But for the time I had the dream I felt like something or someone was calling out for me and it gave me hope and a feeling that maybe fate had something in store for me. Or maybe it was a dream of a past life... something! But now... I feel like there's nothing out there. I feel like when we die we fall into a dark void and cease to exist. Oblivion!

I want to believe as I did before but I feel hopeless and helpless and forgotten... maybe I've had my share of happiness... maybe I'm not meant to be happy. Maybe I'm just a mistake.

The point of all this is where do we come from and where are we going? Where do we go when we die? Do we have souls that live on as energy? Or are we just pieces of meat that are put to the ground to rott? Is there an afterlife or only nothingness?

I wish I could talk to the trees so they could tell me what they've seen. I wish I could see the future so I know what's in store for me... Death is certain (when and how I do not know). But what comes after? Is death the end or is it just the beggining?