I deserve better

I’ve finally deleted your number from my phone - demon exorcized!

It’s funny how it took me this long to do so. But I did it and I’m super proud of myself. Another step forward, another step in the right direction. A tiny detour towards happiness. I’ve been down the road to misery for so long I’ve forgotten who I am and how to be. I kept pushing everyone away because I thought I didn’t deserve to have friends, or love or even happiness.

I always thought of myself as someone who’d didn’t deserve to be here, who didn’t deserve to live. And I questioned myself and whatever higher being sent me here why did I exist? What was the point? I still don’t know what my purpose is. I don’t think any of us ever know that until the very end when life flashed before our eyes before we die, and sometimes, not even then. 

But I now feel deserving. I deserve a life, friends, happiness. I deserve to wake up next to someone who makes me smile. I deserve better than you. I always did...