misery...

There is a hole inside me the size of the world. Sometimes it seems to burn from the inside and all that's left is ash... I'm affraid that one day a strong wind will come and blow what's left of me away. I have seen such wonders that manypeople can only imagine. I have felt such sorrow that I do not wish it on anyone... even to those who hate me and wouldsee me fall. Every waking hour I fight against the tears that try to pierce my eyes. Every waking hour is a struggleto move on. I keep telling myself over and over "just breathe". I close my eyes and just hear myself breathing. I struggleto keep focus. I struggle against my anger. I struggle in this town... I try to fit in but there is no way I'll ever belong.Not only because I am different but also because I don't want to. People often say that I am weird and see me as a ditsy little thing just stumbling through but the truth is I just let them underestimate them because I don't want to have to deal with any of their backstabbing ways. Still they try to bring me down. What is it about me that is so threatening? I stillhaven't figured out why some people feel so threatened by me... I am just a poor aging woman trying to live in peace... I am here because of my son. If it weren't for him I would never have come back here. I absolutely HATE it here. I wish I could leave. But I can't... so everyone will just have to learn how to deal with that and find a way to leave me be.I don't want any of your cracker ass drama. I just want to be left alone to do my job. That's it. It might bring you allpleasure to know that my life is at it's best misery... so please... just leave me be or I promise you I will make you chokeon all the crap you send my way. I will not be stepped on and I am most definitely not a person to be trifled with.This is who I am... I am hurting and I am down... but if you keep poking me with a stick I will bite! Head my warning!Just leave me be and direct all your drama towards someone else I haven't the stomach for it nor the patience to dealwith bitchiness. But I will destroy anyone who gets on my last nerve and I am reaching the limit... I am at the thin line... I beg of you all, not for my sake but for yours, stop all of your punk-ass drama! You should direct such energies towardsbeing better people and helping others and not wasting your lives away on trying to bring down a sad little pup like me.Anyway... I can't help but feel flattered... even though I still don't know why I get people all hot and bothered. I amnothing... like I said, my life is at it's best misery. But you know what they say: "Misery loves company!"