Hopeless and broken

Summer ended abruptly this year... there was no time for autumn. Winter came and with it nothing new. Except for the widening of the hole I have where my heart used to beat. I close my eyes and listen... but nothing. There is no heart beating. It froze. I do not think it will ever melt. It came as sudden as this year's winter but unlike the seasons it will not change. I fear I am bound to this frozen heart for the rest of my days. Nothing brings me much confort or joy. Not even the dream realm gives me hope anymore. I am the perfect picture of sorrow. As I am sitting here writting this I sometimes stop and look out my window. The flickering lights of houses far away used to light up some sense of wonder but this night that curiosity is dead. I don't care to imagine what other people might be doing at this hour. I don't care to imagine that "the one" might be under the same dark sky looking up trying to find stars through the curtain of clouds that winter brought feeling the cold rain on his cheeks and barely smilling while wondering... I don't care for those things at all anymore. All they breed is bitterniss, frustration, anger, loneliness, sorrow... I care not for any of those things. I care not for anything anymore! I just want to lay down, rest my tired head and my weary body, and just sleep. I know that tomorrow the same lights of houses far from here will still be flickering and people will still be going about their business and I will still be here stitting at my desk... hopeless and broken.