The night has fallen and the moon is high. I look outside my window and I see all the specks of light. I also see the fires that people start during summer. I hate that people feel the need to destroy Mother Nature. The flickering lights seem to fight against the fires but there's nothing they can do. The fires will soon swallow them up and families will lose their homes and property. I listen to the sounds outside... I hear a dog barking, crickets, a door downstairs banging. My fan keeps me grounded because I am so tired and weary I can barely take notice of what I am writing. I think, my friends, these are words of desperation. I fell uninspired, sad, powerless, frustrated. I want to leave this fowl place and never look back! The people here are absolute monsters! I try and I try... over and over... but I just can't deal with all this drama anymore. I wish I could just... I don't know... just open my eyes and awake somewhere else, as someone else and realize that this life is just a bad dream. But my bad bream is endless and overpowering. I shall only awaken when I die... I am not suicidal. I just gave in to what other people wanted for me. I just got too tired of chasing fucking rainbows and dreams I never had a chance to realize. I never had a chance in hell. So now I am this person I never wanted to be dreaming of the person I always wanted to be realizing that the person I was never thought that I'd be the person I never wanted to be... I just got lost along the way and took someone else's directions. And now I'm screwed (I so want to write "fucked" because that's how I feel... I've been fucked by the universe!). At least I can laugh about it and smile when I remember the (few) good days I had. I was happy once maybe I'll find happiness again. You'll never know...
4 comentários:
Madness is what it is! All of them, they're all mad! We're the only sain people left :)
We're all fucked :P if we think about it! One way of escaping this is to just stop thinking :D
True... I could stop thinking... but then I'd be dragged down to stupidity like all that surround me. I have nothing in the world but my brain and my word. I am not going to give either of them up. Nothing is faster than the speed of thought. And nothing is more beautiful than an original idea. :)
I know you're right, about ideas, originality, where would we be if we didn't have our minds:P
The reason I'm writining is because I need to know myself, my feeligs, my mind, because somewhere along the way I got lost.
The reason I'm typing right now is my thirst for the knowledge of human emotion, and there's alot of that here :P
True... I've always oozed emotion... I feel everything so itensely that it's like everyone else in the world is a cold block of ice without feeling or emotion... robots! I find people around me to be like robots. Emotioneless... cold... mindless... programmed (by society). I write because I feel and I have a need to explode these feelings on "paper". I write this blog because I can share what I like and dislike with the world without having to edit what I say for fear of not fitting in society's pretty little box of conformity and "normalcy".
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