Sometimes when it rains it's like I can see my life passing by inside the raindrops... each of them carrying one vivid memory of my past and plays in slow motion so I can see over and over the mistakes I've made. I try destroying these raindrops between my fingers but millions more holding even deeper memories drop on my head, my face and the earth surrounding me. The earth is wet with memories... mine and other people's. Everyday I step on the ground thinking I'm stepping through my memories and the memories of others that echo through the ground trying to make themselves heard or seen. They cry fro forgiveness, sing songs of lost loves, howl words of vengeance... I close my eyes and try to drown them out with my thoughts. But sometimes the thoughts I think aren't my own. It's like I have the thoughts of a small village echoing inside my head in different languages but all understandable. Maybe I just have more than one inner voice to guide me but that's plain mad because most of the times they clash and I can't make up my mind. And so I am roaming this earth trying to destroy raindrops, running from voices that don't exist and avoiding reality and normalcy. But what is normal anyway? Where is it written that normal is being, thinking, acting like everyone else? If so I don't want to be normal and am glad I am the way that I am. I don't want much from life... I just want to be left alone in my room watching my horror movies and listening to Led Zeppelin wearing just my pajamas and flip-flops dancing around... going to work everyday and having a blast with my students. I wish I wouldn't feel inadequate around the people here in this town. It's like I'm living some sort of invasion of the bodysnatchers. But the deal here is that they've all been taken over by aliens. They're all so mechanical and conniving... their smiles remind me of Kang and Kodos from the Simpsons. And well people... that's how freaky my mind works... I start out with poetry, raindrops, the whole shebang and end with cartoon aliens. How mental am I? :)
I hope everyone has a great day, I'm off to work!
3 comentários:
Hi, girl :)
I just can't seem to turn my back for a few days that you go getting yourself into a shitload od trouble - allergic bronchitis? Really? You should be over those things by now - after all you were BORN allergic to most of the world - the make-believe-normal people, the I'm-a-friend people and let's not forget the I'm-really-an-alien people... Invasion of the Body Snatchers, indeed... After a while they'll start pointing you out in the middle of the street and screaming in that high-pitched Skunk Anansie-esque scream, and THEN you'll be in trouble :p
Seriously, though, the voices will never go away once you start listening to them, they'll just sound clearer and clearer until they actually start making sense - so drown them out in smiles, happy thoughts or golden memories but just do it ASAP, or they WILL consume you - trust me, I know.
On a final note, you really should make amends with your past - I know you've been trying but it's about time you start succeeding, don't you think?
I'll be here if you need me - and remember, it's not paranoia if they're REALLy after you ;)
You are a beautiful writer.
You aren't crazy, the world is.
Many view the world as you do and we are all better for it.
Keep writing and I'll keep reading
Thanks for your awesome comments. I really appreciate them. :)
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