bored to death

I'm freaking bored... Nothing to do. I'm tired but I just can't make myself fall asleep. Nothing good on TV. Read all the books I have here. Have everything packed and double-checked for my trip tomorrow. It's raining, so I can't go for a walk. Already had tea and put on my pj's. Have watched all the movies I brought with me. None of my friends are online but I don't think I feel much like talking. I have nothing to say. Everything is the same as it was last week... last month... boring... same old boring life.

I am sitting at my desk watching the rain fall outside. A person is suposed to feel something... watching the rain fall... hearing it's sounds and trying to unveil it's mysteries. I can't feel a thing. And I'm not worried! I actully find it funny. I laugh... and think of how I used to feel so much, so fast. Now, I just feel numb. I guess it's because I'm so bored. Nothing seems new to me. I feel like every feeling I ever felt has been repeated... over and over... and over... and over... But now that I realized this, I broke the cycle. But, by breaking this cycle I somehow lost touch with my feelings. I'm in this sort of numbing Limbo. But I'm enjoying this absence of feeling... it's pretty calm and quiet. Sometimes we need peace and quiet. :) But I'm still bored to death...