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I miss the life I should’ve had and the one I’ll never have.

No one will ever truly know me

Because I don’t even know myself.

We’re only left with the hand that was dealt

And everything that I ever have felt

Is nothing compared to what I have suffered

And all the courage I’ve ever mustered

Was but a drop of water in a vast sea.

I am not strong. I am not happy. I am not the one.

I am just another face in a crowd 

That you will never see or even notice

I yell out your name but not so loud

I close my eyes and dream that we kiss

I close my eyes as I lay in my hospital bed

I close my eyes and play back all that I’ll miss 

I close my eyes and I think that I’m dead

I open them but I fall asleep again instead…