Heart...?

People say that home is where the heart is... what if you're heart is somewhere else? What if you live in a place that you hate surrounded by people you have nothing in common with? That is the case with me... I hate this town I live in. It's beautiful and peaceful. But the people here are always trying to come up with new and improved ways to screw you behind your back... they're regular backstabbers. They're also very fake. They smile at you in the hallways and then talk smack about you behind your back. I've seen this first hand. I am a very low profile person and sometimes people don't even notice I'm around and I hear really nasty stuff... then I start to wonder if and what they say about me behing my back. It really saddens me that people need this kind of shit to make theur lives mean something. I wish I had at least one friend around to talk and hang out with because sometimes I feel like I might just snap!
I know you will say that there are those type of people everywhere... but the thing is... I really don't belong here. Everyone sets me aside and hardly anyone wants to sit with me. I feel like the really fat kid that gets picked last for soccer teams during gymn class. I feel like a freaking piñata at home because my mom just looooOOOOooooves to take it out on me and point out all my past faults. Like she doesn't have any. She's always been a sloppy mom and always made me feel like crap. She still does that. I just let it slide and pay no attention to the crazy lady. She's not even coerent anymore. But the damage is done. When she did seem coerent in her ramblings she made me feel useless and so I acted so. It took me a while to realize she was wrong and that everyone has worth. For so long I treated myself like crap because I believed her. Now that is over. I have moved on and am so over all of my mom's ramblings. Now all I feel is loneliness. My friends were all left behind. And we always say we'll be in touch and that we'll visit... but we all now that never happens because life goes on and our busy schedules just makes us forget about who is no longer around... I guess that's why they say "out of sight, out of mind".

So... I guess what I'm saying is that my heart is miles away. That means that I have a hole inside of me and if you put your ear to my chest you'll probably hear the ocean... because that's where my heart is. It belongs to the city by the sea...

Happy New Year?

A new year is upon us and the first thing I realized is that the prices of basic needs went up... they sky-rocketed so high up that I got whiplash and vertigo! Gas, milk, bread... all the prices of these goods went up. So... are we suposed to stop eating and going to work? Yeah, because if either of us can afford gas to go to work or bread to eat or milk to feed our children what are we to do? Are we all to live under the bridge praying to God to deliver us from all this madness?

I mean... we literally work ourselves to death, have no recognition from anyone, some of us are treated like crap (by employers or our families) and still we have to put up with the government over-taxing us and other companies over-billing us... and now... now we can barely aford bread, milk or gas to drive to work. I really don't understand any of this!

Our children are turning into bumbling idiots and have no interest in anything. They don't care for anything. All they do is watch TV, play their PSP's and computers and wallow in stupidity. I have yet to see a young person on a bus or train reading a book. None of our young can even spell correctly. They can barely read. They have no manners or opinions. They don't think for themselves. All they do is emulate the idiot box. Turn off your damned TV's and talk to your kids. Teach them how to think for themselves! An education is the most powerful tool you can give your children and that's why the world is set on stupifying the masses so that they will never be aware of what's really going on. This next generation is the generation of dumbasses and it really pisses me off that no one seems to care. I will not stupify my kids (I only have the one) and I refuse to let him be raised by the idiot box! I will nurture his thoughts and answer his questions and I will feed his brain and teach him how to think for himself. WAKE UP! Your kids are being turned into cavemen! Is that what you want?

We act and talk and behave a certain way to please society and what does society do for us? Absolutely NOTHING! So, Merry Xmas and Happy New Year to all of you. My only wish is that the masses that are asses open their eyes and start acting like normal people that think for themselves. We are ripe for revolution!