Emptiness

I am empty... I am surrounded by emptiness... I am emptiness itself. I have lost my hability to feel. I feel nothing. I eat, sleep, ear, breathe, talk... but I can't feel anymore. It's like my soul left me. It's like everyone I ever met slowly plucked away at my soul and now it's gone. Nothing's left but this empty shell of a body... a shadow... a memory of the person I used to be. Before, when I was back home by the sea, everyone came to me for advice and knowledge... and now that I came up north back to the hell hole that I left behind so many years ago and swore never to come back too I feel like my future has been erased. I am doomed to be a robot until I die surrounded by other spiteful robots praying not to lose a job that I hate, praying to figure out just who I am. I've been searching myself for so many years and still haven't found out who I really am. What am I? Friend? Teacher? Lover? Mother? Atheist? Christian? Catholic? Thinker? Slacker? Geek? Musician? Poet? Who am I? What drives me? What gets me out of bed in the morning? I honestely can't answer that... I have no idea what gets me out of bed... I think it's one of those "scripted programs" that someone wrote and jammed in my brain... I can't not get out of bed in the morning... and I can't not go to work... and I can't tell my parents to stuff it and leave again. I guess that what I am saying is that responsability is bland... responsability sucks the life out of a person... or it did for me. My sister is always bitching that I am no fun anymore... she's always asking me what happened to the party animal and fun girl I used to be... I guess now I have an answer: I grew up! But the thing is... I grew up to be empty, surrounded by emptiness.