The One

I am the girl who came from the sea
I'm the girl who doesn't know how to be...
I'm the one you want to kiss
I'm the one who'll bring you bliss...
I am the girl of your dreams
who came to silence your screams...
I'm the one you'll want to meet
with whom no one can compete...
I'm the girl who'll make you smile
the one who'll always walk that extra mile...
I'm the girl with the softest skin
the one that will make you sin...
I'm the girl you'll want to taste
I'm the one whose time you won't waste...
I'm the one you'll want by your side
I'm a girl with nothing to hide...
And I'm the one who'll always be here
always loving and sincere...
I'm the one who'll hold your hand
to walk with you on grass or sand...
I'm the one you'll pledge your life to
as I pledge mine to you...
I'm the girl you'll want to keep
the one who'll make you fall deep
into a pool of everlasting love
from which you'll never climb out of...
I'm the girl, you know it's true
I'm the only one for you...
I am the girl who came from the sea
and I'm the one who'll set you free...

Psycho Killer - Talking Heads

This is one of my favorite songs by the Talking Heads (the video is an amateur "something" I found on youtube... I was just after the song... the rest is not so relevant... you can still watch it... whatever!). I still love listening to it today. It attaches itself to your brain and you can't stop singing it... it's AWESOME! I've been mumbling it these past weeks... everywhere... even when I go grocery shopping. Will I mumble it (maybe shout it?) when I go to the dentist? Absolutely!

About the word "absolutely"... I love it! I think it's my favorite word in the whole world. I'm obsessed by it! I love saying it! It sounds... oh, soooo sexy! The way it rolls from the tip of your tongue... I keep saying it over and over and over... when I'm alone I say it out loud... when I'm around people I think it... I feel it... I sometimes even whisper it... or mumble it and people ask me "what did you say?" and I reply "nuthin"... It's my recent obsession... Am I crazy? unstable? a lunatic? psycho? who cares... I'm just me... ABSOLUTELY! :)

your silence is deafening...

The sun stings my eyes
and burns my skin
I live in a darkness
brought by sin...

your silence pierces
my broken soul
and it slowly
melts away my world

lack of words
isn't lack of feeling
you're silent
but I'm still believing...

a truth persists
yet still unknown
I'm secretly yearning
for what you've shown

I'm running from nothing
I haven't a clue
I slip into a dream
to try to find you...

Still the silence prevails
it's making me deaf
only my ghost remains
humbled by death...

I Miss You...

I miss you... My world stops when you're not around... my heart stops when I don't see you... I can't breathe when I don't hear your voice... My soul escapes my body when you're not here... Food loses taste, music loses it's magic, books are meaningless and paintings have no color... I wonder where you are and what you're doing... I wonder when you'll come again and bring me back to life...
Time stopped since you went away... everyone else is moving and I am standing still... all alone... waiting for you...

my drug buddy

Just To Find You

I move across space but time sits still
I try to make them both bend to my will
but all I do amounts to failure

I feel lost and confused without you
I wish I was a little more like you,
smiling and waving...

I wish I could be someone else
so I could be rid of myself
and put all the past behind me...

but a light cut through the darkness
pulled me out of this madness
and made me smile...

Now I want to be myself
and forget about everyone else
just to find you...

the girl who lives by the sea...

once upon a time

there was a girl who lived by the sea

she was wild and felt free...

She looked for love in all the wrong places

among all the familiar faces...

her heart was broken too many times

but still she longed

for that one true love...

She locked herself in her perfect world

but her yearning soul

hid the secret key

in plain sight, anyone can see!

But only he will know where to look

and he will claim it
and set her free...

But for now she sits quietly

looking out the window at the stars

wondering where you are...

Talking to the moon

hoping you'll come soon.

She dances around

twirling and spinning

not afraid of falling

because she has fallen for you

but it takes two...

And even though he might never come

she still hopes by the window

as time moves on slow.

And so the girl who lives by the sea

wearing her heart on her sleeve

screams: "it beats for thee, my love, for thee!"

with just one kiss...

I run around my thoughts

and find you there

waiting for me to see

through years of prayer

that in your arms

is where I should be.

Your smile disarms

the sadness in me.

Your eyes are a window

to a world of desire

that I secretly borrow

and it sets me on fire.

I burn for one touch

I close my eyes

but I can't sleep much.

I can no longer desguise

this fire within

and dreams of you

touching my skin

and diving deep into

my burning soul

cutting through desire

and unknown worlds

to put out this fire

with just one kiss...

In his arms

In my dreams we meet each night
and we burn in eternal fire...
I embraced perfection and light
as I dreampt of desire.
There is no past, no future
Only present... in his arms.
When his hand touches my cheek
distant memories fade away
and nothing else exists but us
and this bed on which we lay
naked and understanding love
for the very first time...
My small and cold fingertips
ran tiredly through his body.
I kissed his soft lips
and much deserved bliss rushed in
like the high tide that submerges
the seashore that we should walk...
"Why must we wake?" - you asked
I held you stronger in my arms
and with eyes wide open
I could see the brightness
that his perfect soul gleams.
A sense of peace invades me
when I dream of his sweet voice.
And looking in his eyes
when we are making love
time stands still and lays down
and silence is filled with sound
heaven is here in his arms...

Longing...

If I could shed the world I would fly to you and perfection would be at my fingertips... A work of art before me that I would spend hours gazing upon it's beauty... I would close my eyes and listen to your voice and I would just think to myself: "wow!". Though we are miles apart you are always with me... in my thoughts... in my heart. And if I could change the world I would make it so we could be together.... laugh together... sit together in silence... watch movies together... and I could finally look into your eyes and say: "everything is going to be alright"... If I could change the world... I would make it so. Loneliness would not be a word we would know much about. It would be a distant memory... And if I had my way I would always stand with you... against all odds!

But for now... I only see you in my dreams... and even there your voice soothes me. I hear you calling out for me and I always wake up restless and powerless because I haven't the power to move across time and space... If I had such power... I would move mountains and cut through time to be with you... we would melt into one and we would live forever...

Passion Begins

title: Passion Begins

With eyes closed,
and a racing heart
secrets are disclosed
and torn apart...
I crawl out of bed
on hand and knee.
Waking from the dead
brought back to reality.
You live in every breath,
and in every thought
born from the depth
of this soul caught,
once more, by feeling.
No more room for sorrow
nor death's dealing.
There is only tomorrow...
Wonder invades,
warmth creeps in.
Sadness fades
as passion begins...

Whole

All the ghosts that haunted me are hidden now... I fought them for so long that now every battle seems pointless and trivial. Why do we always let ourselves be haunted by the past? It took me a long time to learn how to move on and look forward. I guess before I couldn't actually see into the future... or maybe I just didn't look forward or have any expectations. I always moved around a lot looking for something I don't actually need. I needed to feel whole and always looked and yearned for something... anything... nothing... it was a pointless search. Something inside me was crying and fueling this fiery quest I threw myself onto... I don't have any more energy to waste on such an empty quest. It's time for my feet to stand still in one place.

There's no bitterness... no sorrow... no sadness... Only hopes for the future. A secret knowledge buried deep inside that everything will turn out the way it's supposed to. I can't wait to see what's in store for me... Happy songs are ahead, I'm sure of it! I have friends and I have music... I live well and am employed... so why all this belly-aching? It's time to look at all the positive things and forget about the past. It's time to apreciate all the small things everyone overlooks like a flower growing in the wild, a butterfly fluttering through trafic, a baby smilling on a line at the supermarket... stuff like that always lifts the heaviness from our hearts. And right now, it's what I'm concentrating on to dissolve this pain inside me that I've had for years... The yearning... it's still here... but I put it away! It's safely locked in a box that I keep on the back of my head. It'll come out again someday... or maybe not. Maybe I'll find a way or someone that'll actually end it. And then... before I know it... I'll feel whole again...