Someone to Love

The world is made of quicksand

swallowing me up a bit more each day

I reach up hoping for a helping hand

but all I find are faces that betray

I've searched long for an answer

and I lived through their lies

but I wont live forever

and I will never grow wise

even when I'm on the other side

you'll always be in my broken mind

in secrets and memories that I hide

that I hold dear and divine.

The world has never been kind

but I keep a smile on my face

sometimes it's hard to find

amidst the world's disgrace

But hope is the last to die

and for as long as I live

and have strength in my sigh

my heart I will always give

to the one I can't seem to find

to the one I always dreamed of

someone that I can call mine,

someone that I can love...

This Kind of Love

This burning love
was only for tonight
it came out of
that hungry light
you never knew
you could ever find
inside of you
something of the kind.

This melting love
is not hard to find
it fits like a glove
but only in your mind
It turns into ash
faster than it seems
It's just like whiplash
or a light that dims.

This kind of love
is not love at all
Nothing you think of
will break your fall
but if you think about it
it's really not that small

It's just the wrong kind
It's not the one you want
that one is hard to find
and it isn't what you got.
This kind of love you had
isn't what you thought.

And this kind of love
still breaks your heart
you're not who I think of
it just breaks me apart
you are the perfect kind
just not perfect for me
you would never be mine
I have to set you free...

And this love you give
isn't meant for me
I am not your captive
Why won't you let me be?
I just want to live
and keep waiting for
the love I want to give...

But that kind of love
will never wait for me
I turn around, it's gone,
It wanted to be free...
I'm left behind alone
drowning in my misery...

Sleepless Night

Tossing and turning
alone in my bed
thinking and burning
slowly from within.
Sweating and heart racing
with eyes shut tight
dreams I keep chasing
all through the night.
These desires of the flesh
are instinct made known...
Our bodies hungrily mesh
and tonight we become one.
His warm breath on my skin
brings desperate kisses.
Fingers now linger in sin,
soft words seep from my lips
As I wait for sleep to come...
I lie awake and dream of you
and I willingly come undone
wishing my dreams come true.

Waiting

I wish I had something deep to share
but I am numb and hollowed out
I have no other feelings to spare
I lost my voice and cannot shout

I used to scream to the world
from the top of my lungs
that I am just another girl
with life waiting to be sung

The words at the tip of my tongue
Are lost to me and you forever
and no matter how hard I clung
I slowly did have to surrender

Because I can't stay young
I had to grow up and give in
and all of my words unsung
are where I secretly live.

I am no longer the wild girl
I grew into a broken woman
I hide away in my own world
waiting for my piece of heaven

Looking out my window

You don't know that I exist
don't notice when I'm near.
I am not on your A-list
even though I'm right here

Looking out my window
dreaming of all the yesterdays
I have no place that I can go
and I have nothing new to say

I walk by just like a ghost
you just stare right through me
I'm the one that no one chose
and I reserve the right to be free

So I'm looking out my window
dreaming of all the days to come
wishing for a place that I can go
where nothing is ever undone

I'm wishing for a better place
where I'll be happy for a while
you will see my hopeful face
and I can finally smile...

And I'm looking out my window
thinking of how things could be
Having a place to call my own
where I can finally be me...

Let's get lost

I wake up and pull myself together
ready for the shackles of society
that will keep me bound here forever
and even love can't set me free...

I drive to work thinking of you
wondering if you hear my thoughts
maybe you can feel it too
this thing that keeps me out of sorts

The night falls and still I am alone
all dressed up and red lips glossed
but everyone I ever knew is now gone
So just for tonight let's get lost

You're a stranger navigating my mind
fighting reason no matter the cost
I am candied weirdness hard to find
But just for tonight let's get lost...

Too Late

I would much rather be

in other company

I would rather die

than keep watchful eye

on this society...

They pretend and emulate

the latest fashions

while I think of our fate

and of small fractions

of bliss that came too late...

Not that into You

She's not that into you
should echo in your head
nothing you can say or do
will get her back in your bed

she won't change her mind
not even for a split second
she's trying to be kind
but won't come when you beckon

I am just not the one
But still you can't seem to see
you're blinded by the sun
you made me to be...

I am nothing you need
you project your dreams
on me to be freed
of your midnight screams

that echo through your dark past
I am not your sweet perfection
and your dream won't ever last
because it's fueled by fleeting distraction

Still Alive

You might not love me
but I don't really care
the lost ghost I see
is not really there...

you don't even want me
but I'm fine like I said
It's just old history
like the love we shared

I am still breathing
and I'm still around
my heart's still beating
but it makes no sound

And I'm surviving
all on my own
I've done all my crying
and now I've grown.

I am still alive
I drink my tears
and eat my pride
but I will survive...

The Cow

A big old fat cow
with golden-straw hair
that's who I am now
but I don't really care

bad habits now gone
but madness subsides
and all that I've done
In memories resides

age takes a toll
in body and mind
I am no longer bold
life hasn't been kind

this fat cow is numb
and doesn't want to play
I just lay in the sun
dreaming of better days.

There's noting I can do
the world has made me this way
this cow is sad and blue
and has nothing to say...