I have been the subject of various medical tests this past month... everything came back normal. So two days ago when I went to my doctor with the results of the heap of x-rays and blood work I had done he says: "It's definitely STRESS!". And he also said I should SHOUT when I'm pissed at something or someone. And I was like... "wow! stress... how the hell am I supposed to get rid of it being a teacher?"... You see... being a teacher in Portugal these days is not an easy task... Students treat you like shit, they definitely don't respect you, but worst of all they just don't care about their futures and don't want to learn. This really pisses me off and frustrates me. There are only a handful of my students that want and expect more out of their lives. They think and try to get a glimpse of what their futures will be like. But the most part of them they just don't care. They want to party, and think only of what kind of awful thing they can say or do to shock the teacher and be thrown out of class. I never throw students out of my classes because I know that's what they want me to do. I just try to ignore the stupidity of their actions and words and give them the evil eye and ultimately give them a bad grade (which they don't even care about anyway). I feel powerless. I see so much potential in these kids and they just waist it! They throw it all out the window because they are such idiots! When will they all open their eyes? I wish I could gas them with some sort of truth-seeing serum or some wonky stuff of the sort that would make them see themselves through my eyes. I wish they could see and realize their potential and strive for bigger better things.
Yes, yes... I am writting to blow off some steam (and reducing the amount of stress I supposedily have). And yes, yes... the doctor gave me happy sleepy pills. I feel better-rested so I guess I see things a bit more clearly. The point is... I don't really have a point! I was just ranting and getting stuff off my chest. That's it. That's all there is. I wish someone had opened my eyes when I was in their shoes. But when I was in their shoes was there any teacher that was feeling the way I am feeling now? I would like to think that "yes, there was"... but I can't think of any. And that's that. Or is it? Am I just being paranoid? Sometimes I kind of feel like Mel Gibson in the movie Conspiracy Theory. I wish I looked as good as him... LOL! He has pretty eyes. :D About Mel Gibson... I really don't give a shit what the media is saying about him. He's great. And I'm sure he's a great dad and was a great husband (to his first wife). He made the mistake of marrying that gold-digging wench! I would tottaly freak out like he's been freaking... I hope he gets his act together and gets that cow out of his life. Mel Gibson is awesome! I don't care what he did, does or will do... he will always be a great to me and I'll always watch his movies!
