Sleep for a Thousand Years

If I could sleep for a thousand years
I could finally dry up all the tears
that haunt me every minute, evey hour
I relinquish all of my useless power

and give in... I'm not afraid of death
I'm glad you turned your back and left
now my life is finally about to start
and I can stop playing this fake part

you wrote for me on crumpled pages
but I never did belong on any stages
so the curtain has finally come down
and I am no longer your clown

How does it feel to be cast aside
forgotten and stripped of all pride?
you're nothing but a footnote in my past
something never meant to be or last

I want to sleep for a thousand years
because now I got rid of my fears
I am now trully alone and I like it
I finally put out the fire you lit

I can close my eyes and breathe easy
even though I'm still feeling queasy
tomorrow, the thousand years will have passed
and I will be alive at last...

Feeling Nothing

Lungs drenched in alcohol
I can't feel a thing at all
I try to move but I'm out of breath
I can't jump to my death
to end what is now lost...
my feelings never had a cost
they exploded out of my chest
without any notice or request.
Now I am just a black whole
run or I'll swallow you hole
But nothing will ever fill
no good will and no vacant thrill
can ever fill my emptiness
and erase my loneliness...
The tide that rises to my eyes
isn't pain or cause for cries
It's just a grain of sand
that I'll get with my hand
You always want what you can't have
but memories are nothing but that
they fade away drenched in alcohol
and soon you'll feel nothing at all.

The Storm

A storm gathers to my eyes ready to break
I don't know how much more my heart can take
Sometimes I dream, sometimes I am awake
But always and every time your love is fake.

You were a dream trapped inside myself
In reality you were always someone else.
You took my love and broke my heart
but I always knew from the very start

that tomorrow is empty and yesterday is gone
the storm finally hits and it's destruction is done.

Crawling

I crawl out of sadness
for a moment or two
in my bag I bring madness
for me and for you

But you didn't want to share
you drank it all in one shot
I always knew you don't care
but I always loved you a lot!

You're so fucking special
and everything that you do
feels like nothing at all
but one day you'll be crawling too...

So I crawl back in silence
I close my eyes and I sleep
hoping you'll notice my absence
and finally start to weep...

Lost Love

My eye twitches and stress gets the best of me
Looking out my window I wonder if I'll ever be free
I think of who I used to be and who I am now
the person I was supposed to be
got lost on the way some how.

I drink too much coffee, I sip it from my cup everyday
and if you see my nostrils flare get out of my way
I never wanted to do this, never wanted to hurt you
I don't even know what else I should say
There's nothing you and I can do
to stop feeling this way...

And the million voices in my head each say a different thing
about the past, the present and what the future will bring
I just sit here and close my eyes and suddenly start to sing
I am trapped inside myself, caught up in my dream...

You are my passion, my love, my last breath.
You're the light that twinkles in my eye.
You live in my whispers and in my sighs.
Without you there's nothing but death...

I suddenly realize it's nothing but a distant memory
All that remains is the broken version of me that you see
You loved me for a second and then you were just gone
you left me out of breath and laying on the ground

I'm so tired of a life where I am nothing but a ghost
I'm so tired of all the lying and always fucking up!
Do you remember telling me to leave and to shut up?
But I'm still here to tell you and remind you
I'm the one who loved you the most!

Whisper, Whisper

Whisper, whisper through my wall

make me love you, make me fall

make me wonder, make me guess

which is worse and which is best.

Whisper, whisper through the trees

distil the love inside of me

make me sweet, make me better

make me feel like you did with her.

Whisper, whisper in my ear.

make the whole world disappear

make me hate you with your lies

make the tears rush to my eyes

Whisper, whisper until I scream

whisper to me in my dreams

I can hear you in my sleep

make me sigh and make weep.

Whisper, whisper my little star

I always wonder where you are

was it all true or just a lie?

just make me smile and make me die.

Forever and Never

 

I am the tide you cannot bind
a love forever untold
a secret laid at your feet
a whisper sounding crisper
like madness taking over sadness.

I am a fever, a believer
the calm before dawn
I am mother and daughter
I am lover and the other
loneliness and actress.

I am nature, I am closure
I am the tear you most fear
the touch that is too much
I am the scream you dream
the death defying rath

an itch you cannot scratch
I am the heart you tore apart...
I am the word you cannot speak
the concept you cannot grasp.
I am forever and I am never.

A Story

 

The stories I had to tell

are muffled by the cold

they were all I had to sell

but shall remain untold

I don't want to go outside

I want to be left alone

with all the dreams that died

before they were known...

there is nothing left to share

no more tears, no more love...

it's all up in the cold air

but it's what you can't get rid of

and the clock strikes eleven

while I'm sitting on the couch

longing to be forgiven

and I slouch and slouch...

I give up and give in to sleep

and as I lay quietly in bed

I realize there's no love nor heat

it was something you said

there's nothing left inside of me

I have no life, I have no time

nothing left for me to see

I'm a victim of a foul crime

you left and never looked back

the tears cut through my face

no one here to pick up the slack

nothing left but an empty space

that will never again be filled

because there is nothing left

what I tore down I can't rebuild

and what you said I cannot forget...

The End of the World

 

I was told the world would end today
But today dawned and today set
and still I am here feeling this way

Each hour that passed I would fret
but the world did not end this day
even though others thought it may

I sat in silence imagining death
I think it will end another day
but obviously not today.

the hour struck and I held my breath
but the world refused to end that day
no matter what anyone had to say

Now I sit and wonder when will it end?
it ended for you with a lie
it will end for me when I die.

My Dreams

 

My dreams cut the night

like the sun's piercing light.

They hurt my eyes

and are filled with lies.

They haunt me

and taunt me

but still I'm in my bed

living inside my head...